Words That Heal #4: Unlocking Unexpected Blessings in the Midst of Chaos
Originally published in my “Words That Heal” series. Now part of “Healing from Within.”
Imagine a wise old farmer living a simple life, who one day experienced a series of strange events that left his neighbors baffled.
First, his only horse ran away.
When the neighbors came to commiserate, he simply said, "Maybe."
The next day, the horse returned with three wild companions, and the neighbors rejoiced, only to be met with the same, calm "Maybe."
Then, the farmer's son broke his leg trying to tame one of the wild horses.
Once again, neighbors offered their sympathy, and once again, they heard "Maybe."
Finally, when the army came to draft young men and left his injured son behind, the neighbors celebrated the farmer's luck.
His response?
A thoughtful "Maybe."
I love this beautiful reminder of the power of embracing uncertainty, of letting go of our need to control what is really beyond our control
To let go of trying to predict the unpredictable!
We need to surrender our need for control, yet maintain a vision for our lives.
For a long time, I struggled with this apparent contradiction.
While I still do to some extent, I’ve gradually found peace with the ebb and flow of my life.
Join me as I share how embracing this perspective has helped me navigate life's unpredictable journey.
Finding peace amid our struggles
What changed for me?
In one word, perspective.
There was a time that I was really struggling to find a way out of the darkness.
Our family’s day to day life was a constant challenge. This went on for many years as I fought to keep my sanity and be deal with our daughter’s chronic health issues. I was also my husband’s and my younger son’s emotional rock.
And they were mine.
However difficult this time was, it helped shape a different perspective around life than most people.
You see, this was not the first time that I was dealing with such a difficult situation in my life.
The power of perspective
When I was just 12, my father died of cancer.
It was an extremely challenging time for my family, especially my mother. She pulled us through those tough times with huge doses of courage, grit and determination. She guided and supported my brother and I with the love of two parents.
And do you know what?
While I do remember all the nights spent in silent tears, the disappointments and the initial anger that are all part of the grieving process, that’s not all of it.
What I remember most of all are the good times that I had with my family.
I remember how I used to hide underneath the coffee table in our living room before our father returned home from work.
As soon as I would hear the car pull up, I would go and hide under the table. He would come in and act surprised. Every single time.
You see, this was a game we would play almost every evening :)
But I would still get upset because my little brother would crawl in after me and hide too.
Because since he couldn’t stop from giggling, we would invariably be “found out” and I would get upset with him.
I remember all those times fondly.
And no matter how difficult those times were, I am grateful for those 12 years that I did get to spend with my father.
I will always treasure these precious memories because it makes me feel close to my father, my family.
Having said that, our memories are not always what we remember them to be.
Embracing the whole journey
We have a filter through which we see the world.
So the same incident that you and I would experience would have a different impact on each of us.
The good news is though that it is up to us to decide what to make of each experience that life hands out to us.
How many times have you reacted to a situation only to repent later?
I have, many times.
For many years, I used to react to what was going on in my outside world.
This meant that if things were going well, I would be happy.
If they were not, I would complain. Or whine.
It’s only when I was forced to realise that my daughter’s health would not improve by complaining or waiting, that I took a different approach.
This change in approach didn’t take place overnight or even smoothly, but it slowly and steadily built momentum.
Breaking free from denial
To help me deal with the challenges we faced with our daughter’s health, I turned to books and articles on resilience, courage, and success.
Through my reading, I discovered stories of individuals who had overcome tremendous obstacles to lead rich, meaningful lives on their own terms.
One thing stood out to me across all these stories: they didn't complain.
They accepted their reality and chose to take action.
You see, many of us are trapped in denial—denial of our addictions, our circumstances, or our illnesses.
We refuse to acknowledge the role we play in our own lives.
And we often shy away from taking responsibility for the outcomes we experience or don’t experience.
Consequently, we may remain unaware that we are living in a self-imposed cage.
Discovering and redefining our negative beliefs
I first became aware of my mental cage when I read the book You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. Until then, I had no idea how much my beliefs about my life were holding me back.
Even after this realization, it took me years of “unconditioning” to overcome these limiting beliefs and form new, empowering ones.
While I've made significant progress, I understand that this is a lifelong journey.
As Louise Hay points out in her book,
“No matter what the problem is, our experiences are just effects of our inner thoughts. Even self-hatred is only hating a thought you have about yourself.
You have a thought that says, ‘I am a bad person.’
This thought produces a feeling, and you buy into the feeling. However, if you don’t have the thought, you won’t have the feeling. And thoughts can be changed.
Change the thought, and the feeling must go.”
This insight reveals the origins of many of our beliefs, but it should not be used as an excuse to remain stuck in pain. The past has no power over us.
Regardless of how long we have carried these negative patterns, the point of power is always in the present moment.
Isn’t that a marvelous realization?
We begin to be free in this moment, embracing the power and possibility of the present.
Even in chaos, blessings can emerge.
Have you experienced something unexpected during a challenging time?
I’d love to hear your story—just scroll down and share a few words in the comments.
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Let’s keep walking this path of healing—gently, together.
With care,
Anindita
P.S. If you’d rather just sit with this letter quietly, that’s okay too.
But if you feel called to share it or pass it on, I’d be so grateful. That’s how this healing circle grows—through hearts, not algorithms.