Words That Heal #6: Of Lavender, Love Notes, and Washi Tape

Originally published in my “Words That Heal” series. Now part of “Healing from Within.”

"There is something profoundly healing about putting words on paper and sharing our stories. Writing gives us freedom to express things we might not otherwise say."

- Gloria Steinem

What have we lost in a world of Whatsapp, email communication, Zoom and text messages?

What have we handed over knowingly or unknowingly to the marvels of technology in the name of convenience?

Amongst other things, heart centred, meaningful communication and conversation that fill our lives with warmth and joy.

For a majority of us, the days of writing and receiving letters have been long forgotten in our modern world. Letters that allowed us to pour our hearts out on paper, confess our love to another and show appreciation to our loved ones. These are just a few of the ways that we used to enrich our lives.

But this doesn’t mean that all is lost.

Sharing the gift of words

I was celebrating my birthday over a quite dinner with a few close friends at a restaurant.

For my birthday I had decided to write letters during the entire birthday month for each person in my life that I loved and appreciated. I decided to take the time and effort to let them know how I felt. To let them know how much they meant to me.

I handed over the letters to them along with a small bracelet as a symbol of friendship. These letters were decorated with vintage washi tape and stickers. As an extra sensory input, I had also added a bit of lavender and geranium essential oil fragrances to each so that they smelt heavenly too!

Their reaction was priceless.

As had been my family’s earlier when I gave them their letters. My son even wrote me a beautiful love note in return. We all felt loved and cared for.

As one of my friends told me that day “You made me feel so special”.

What a beautiful celebration of life on a birthday! And not just for me, but for all of us.

Isn’t that what life is supposed to be about?

A celebration of being alive and together on this planet at this moment in time?

And by sharing these gifts of words, I too felt truly “special”.

A Chinese proverb puts it this way:

“A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives you roses.”

Have you ever received a handwritten note that made you feel truly seen? Or perhaps given one? I’d love to hear what that meant to you—share in the comments below

Lost connections and feelings

But it’s not all about friendship, really.

It’s about connections. The bond that we have with each other, whether it is through birth or one that we cultivate over the years. Connection that is the work of being a human.

Yet, sometimes, we lose that connection.

You see, it’s easier now more than ever to do that.

The best example I can think of is birthday wishes. The days of calling another person, sending cards or letters has been replaced with a text message. Or a series of messages sent in Whatsapp groups.

But where’s the magic in that?

When we call or write, we express how we really feel about the person. And if the person really matters to us, we show that we care. We celebrate not only the day they were born, but also their life.

What if you could pick up the phone and wish the person on her special day?

What if you could acknowledge the bond that you have?

What if you shared a few lines about what you appreciate about her?

How would that make you feel?

This doesn’t need to be really complicated. You can keep this is as simple as you want. It’s the intention behind this that really matters.

The intention that tells the person that you care.

Oprah Winfrey said that after 25 years of interviewing a huge variety of people from all walks of life, right from a person to a president, each and everyone person asked her whether the interview was ok.

But she realised that what people really wanted to know and were asking her were 3 things-

Did you hear me?

Did what I say mean anything to you?

Did you really see me?

When was the last time you truly felt seen?

Or made someone else feel that way?

You don’t have to answer out loud—but if you’d like to, I’m listening.

You can reply privately or share in the comments—whatever feels safe.

Of relationships and tears

As I have grown older (and wiser) I am less and less inclined to spend time on small talk and meaningless conversations.

This also means that I have intentionally curated and cultivated a list of people who are in my close inner circle and others who are part of my outer circle. These are my people. They accept me as I am and I them, even if we are wildly different.

I want to spend more and more time with people who lift me up and warm my heart.

Now, that may shock or offend some people when they read this.

But one thing that I have learned from my life experiences is that quality is much more than important than quantity when it comes to relationships.

For all the likes that I get on Facebook and Instagram, I get much more joy out of interacting with the people who really get me. And I them.

These are people with whom I can shed tears without being judged. This can be tears of joy or of sadness. People around whom I can show up as myself without fear of being judged.

Over the month as I handed over my love notes to my friends and family, more than a few had tears in their eyes. I am pretty sure that it was not because they felt sad. On the contrary, it was likely because they felt seen.

When did you last feel seen? And heard?

And when did you last pay attention to the conversation you were having and listened to what was being said and not said?

And what if this act of listening and being heard is what nourishes our soul?

As Rachel Naomi Remen said,

"Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention."

When we truly listen with an open heart, we cultivate understanding. We build connections. We share in each other's humanity.

Whether it’s in the form of sharing letters like I did or a small note of appreciation or even a brief phone call, our hearts connect over our words.

In our fast-paced, technology-driven world, we must make a conscious effort to listen deeply. To see the person standing before us, not just the words on the screen.

For it's in those quiet moments of being heard that we find meaning. That we heal. And that we remember what matters most.

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Your voice is always welcome here. And so is your silence.